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In need of some relationship advice

Hi everyone! I'm writing this post because I feel the need to talk with someone about what I'm going through, and maybe someone can help me with some advice too.

I've been with my husband for almost 7 years. We met in January 2005 and felt immediately attracted to each other, we felt as if we had known each other forever. So we started dating, and our relationship was very special. We never argued or anything.

Then, in December 2007 I moved in with him, and we married in January 2010.

He knows about my spiritual interests and he's got some of his own too, but just out of curiosity, not because he's looking for enlightenment or anything.

But this year mostly, it all started to change. We argued more, and I have started feeling I need to get out of here. His energy isn't always positive either...

I feel I'm too attached to him and can't move forward. Even if I still do love him, our relationship isn't the same as it once was, and we have very different interests. He keeps telling me what to do and what not to do, which I don't like. It's started being more of an ownership than a partnership in that sense. I need to change something if it's wrong or not good for me when I feel it's the right time to do it, not because I'm being forced into it.

Sometimes I feel I need to follow my spiritual path on my own... but I don't know where to go. 

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Comment by Arrone Marcelino jalane on December 6, 2011 at 20:17

maybe you need to give him sometime,to became a men not a boss...bless.

Comment by Haley McMaken on December 6, 2011 at 4:57

You having been saying your answer in your post. You need to move on.....

Comment by Brenda Teagarden on December 5, 2011 at 5:22

Dear Natalia,

You can call me for relationship advice.  I can help you if you are interested.  I am a Oneness Blessings giver.  www.OnenessBlessings.info

Many blessings,

Brenda Teagarden

Comment by willing and allowing, Kimberly on December 5, 2011 at 4:16

Natallia,

I think in just your asking you will attract your own answer. But your asking has give me a moment to also ask myself something about how I would handle the same situation. I have left two marriages. They were both bad for me. I am now in the possibility of a new relationship. I am trying to live in the moment of it and enjoy :) but when I allow myself to slip away from the moment - emotion and fear overwhelm me. 

If this relationship moved forward or any other came into my life I know that when I got to the same spot I have been and you are now that I would be different. Thru this spiritual journey I have learned that I am the one creating my experiences - when I feel happy and joyful I am seeing the reflection of that from those around me. When I feel out of control I desire control and it is delivered to me through people in my life. I hope I will remember when somebody i love is acting in a way that is not to my liking I can remember to love them even more for being a true partner and reflecting my own thought/feeling about myself. I hope I can flood them with grattutude for their commitment of reflecting me and then I hope I can trust that what ever happens it is in divine order.

much love and thank you for your post - it has reminded me that everything if in divine order and a pure reflection of what I call for. 

Kimberly

Comment by Eugene OV member Admin on December 5, 2011 at 2:37

Hi JJ. I grew up with a sister that has AS and the more I look at ther the more I see traits that the whole family has in her. Lately I fear I could be one too.

Louise Inspired me to say th following .... Love is like a breeze. You can enjoy it in its freedom, when you capture it then its not what it was. Love can only live in freedom

By that definition then all partnerships are based in convenience, not in love. Love is prevalent in everything and when you really find it you will know that it was always there in you. You were looking at the other when you felt the love from within so you decieved yourself. Love is always from within. That is the source.One can never be without love.

Its great to fall in love and to have that kind of affinity but it is a substitute for the real thing. It is not real love but it is still great to experience.

Comment by JJ Smith on December 4, 2011 at 6:38

Hi Nat,

Hope you are on top of the plot? I resist responding to this type of post because the answers lie within because no-one external has all the pieces of the jigsaw. However, the post nagged me and as I have 'blown' a relationship or two myself I know that difficult journey.

If I knew then what I know now I would not have dissolved my previous relationship. Finding love in another is not always finding love in self. Finding love in self attracts your kind of love. If you need something out of the partnership relationship it is a warning sign. If you want to give you to the partnership relationship, you are on course.

When dissolving a relationship, honour and truth are prized above all. If you have to 'run it through' so to speak best to get it over with quickly, up to the hilt rather than an inch a day at a time.

In the moment of truth which is always now..... if I hadn't dissolved my past relationship I wouldn't be sitting here pretty with a lovely new wife and three beautiful kids. I have no complaints.

Go within Beloved and suck out the marrow after stewing it all down and then decide. Once decided from a rational well thought out prayerful position, go for it and never look back. Stay or go; you stick with your decision and make it work by over flowing it with love. When your supply is exhausted you draw from the well of Higher Sources which is limitless.

Every blessing. Be strong, be love

JJ

Comment by Eugene OV member Admin on December 3, 2011 at 23:55

Damm excellent Louise.

I love it.

Comment by Bruce on December 3, 2011 at 21:08

Not bad Louise, not bad at all, :)

Comment by Louise on December 3, 2011 at 19:38

Why do we come together in relationship?  We start by believing in the good feelings we get from it, and we behave in a way that's going to provide good feelings to the other person, that is all ego, ego, ego and it's quite ego-centric (self-centred!).

Relax, we've all done it!!

Meanwhile, asking again with more awareness of our soul purpose, which is to develop and expand, why do we come together in relationship?  To promote growth in ourselves, by whatever means or route that should take.

The mistake we make is to think it's about the partner we have.  It's not.  The truth is, that to be in relationship with someone, there is a relationship with Self that really matters and reflect on everything we have to share with another person.

Why do we come together in relationship?  To release ego's hold and become more in harmony with self as complete already, without the need for another to create our balance within for us.  If we select to stay with a partner who keeps us balanced, are we not compensating, and asking them to compensate for us?  This approach to life isn't honest.  It's not creative.  It's not even dignified, but relax, we've all done it!!!

 

So, whether we are with someone, or not, whether we stay with a certain someone forever and ever amen or not, the focus should not be on who we're with or why, because we'll nearly always be self delusional about that.  The focus has to shift to creating our own sense of completion and that's a big journey for some.  If it takes staying with your partner or moveing away from them to achieve it, only those who can let go and allow acceptance will triumph.  And know that is the start.  Continuing with it is the work part of it, and so, work at it!  Observe ourself.  Release the temptation to blame the other person for who we are being.

 

Keep it simple, everyday.

With love...

Comment by Michael on December 3, 2011 at 17:08

Natalia, ask him and see if he is willing to share with you some spiritual concepts that may be enlightening and not so your in face but mild enough to get him to want to learn some more. If you share with him a bit every other day or at least once a week he might be more open in changing this attitude. Yet, not knowing why he changed is something you need to investigate by asking him about the people at work. Someone at work is causing this so it seems.

If he accepts then it may work but if it doesn't then you know the rest.

Chewbees, has said it right, communication is key, if it is missing and from the sounds of it -it is, then you need to get to the bottom of why he changed, that's if you want to stay together.

Enlightened Peace,
KP

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