River (The Dam part 2)

(« Moonlight Night on the Volga river » by Vladimir Ivanovich Ovchinnikov)

The second part of « The Dam » is entitled « River » and expounds the original situation, before the obstacle is recognized and dealt with.

The focus of this section is the slow realization that the situation is not really satisfying, and that the chosen course of action does not seem to lead to the desired destination.

The lyrics have pretty much reached their definitive form :

How long have I been here ? / Feels like it’s been forever
Doing what I’ve been told / Taking in what I’ve been sold
Constantly pondering / Never remembering
When did I choose this boat ? / When did I choose this river ?

How long must I stay here ? / Not sure I want to be
Ever meandering / Throughout eternity
Whose aim am I serving ? / Whose game am I playing ?
Doing what I assume / Is expected of me

Waking up on a boat
That barely stays afloat
Going down with the mainstream

Though I cannot deny
It is I at the helm
Do I really have a choice ?

I used to have a dream / The ocean was calling
Drawn off course by the flow / Perpetually striving
Debased by the shallow / Never really reaching
I used to have a goal / Where is all of this leading ?

I’m heading for a dam / I’m falling prey to doubt
The current getting stronger / Rapids ahead of me
Evermore wondering / Never really knowing
This life I call my own / How else could it have turned out ?

Waking up on a boat
That barely stays afloat
Going down with the mainstream

And I can’t justify
Why should I go along ?
When I feel it is all wrong

« The Dam » is a 22-minute long suite in 8 movements that uses the metaphor of water flowing from source to ocean to illustrate the process of individual growth.

As the title suggest, the focus is directed on one major obstacle/life-changing experience, symbolized by a dam on the river, which the protagonist/narrator has to conquer in order to reach their intended destination.

The storyline is inspired by my own life and struggle to reach the goal of earning a living through my artistic output, as opposed to working a day job to support myself and invest what’s left of my energies in artistic pursuits on a part-time basis, as I’ve done for the most part of the last twelve years or so.