I do meditate. It helps for a while but the feeling always comes back. I know I should accept that it is not my time yet. And conciously I do. It's just that the powers inside me are constantly screaming, tearing at me to get loose. Its like there is a fire burning inside me, a fire burning with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns. And it's like I'm bound. Like I am a phoenix with my wings bound and me in a cage. All I want to do is fly again. I remember what it feels like, to soar across time and space. To fly amongst the heavens. But I cannot anymore and it is painful to me.
I have fully embraced my powers. I have accepted them fully. That is not the problem. The problem is complicated. I feel like I have this extremely powerful force living inside me. I have identified it as the spirit of the Phoenix. The problem is I cannot fully access the powers. They feel trapped inside me. Like they are locked inside me. They are screaming to get out but I do not know how to let them out. But they do leak out and when they do I feel like I have no control over them. I need someone to go inside my mind, and access the secret hidden there.
I know it just the natural abilities. I just call it magick. But I just wish I knew why these powers hurt so. They tear at my mind and weigh heavily on my heart. I feel I cannot control them and they threaten to tear me apart. It's like I can feel everything, see everything, and it hurts. I feel the very power of the universe coursing through my veigns and it feels like fire and light bursting out of me. I see and I feel an entire planet's worth of joy and love and fear and pain. And I dont know what to do or who to turn to.
Hi Chewbit, thanks for the warm welcome and welcome advice. This site looks fantastic and I am searching still for my oringins (Been having a jigsaw puzzle type series of meditations, which have given some answers - still searching for next pieces, in fun and wonder!)
I am famous for rushing things when it comes to spiritual matters. I'm relearning the basics of things but I keep dipping into Astral projection/journeying and had been trying some channeling myself but I've always had a problem with letting my logical mind let go (hence, back to the basics lol). I'm so fascinated by the things I've found on this site and alot of which I experience in some way or another.
It's interesting trying to put things together now...I have a dragon side to me that I connect with on another spiritual plane and recently had wondered if it had to do with my higher self. But it's a very complicated story...I have all these natural abilities such as visiting these other planes of existence yet I still don't seem to have the confidence I need to trust what I see. I hope things will start making more sense soon. I believe this site will help me a great deal.
Thankyou for the welcome, I hope to learn lots more!
Thank you very much for the warm welcome it means a lot! The content in the email resonates with the very reason I joined. I have so many questions and am not really sure where to direct them! I wish with all my heart that this community can be my saving grace and ease my mind. Im not really sure of the confidentiality or disclosure on this website so for now I'll keep my questions vague. But is it possible for someone who has no known prior relation to a foreign entity to begin to feel an inexplicable tie with them? I guess to rephrase... Is it possible that I am from another species or planet and not aware?
In going through my Comments Back to the several people who welcomed me here, I had to save yours for last.
I have to claim ignorance at the moment with respect to terms like ascension, density and such within this context. I guess I'll have some reading ahead of me.
I'd already deduced that someone (let's say aliens) have been here for roughly over 200,000 years so I found your "250,000 years" comment to be rather interesting. I wouldn't mind hearing more regarding this figure.
Anyway, I'll be around. I've posted a few times in the crop circles group and will now go post in the thread that brought me here originally. Thanks.
At the animalshelter they told me that Antaro was a horrorhamster. His previous owner thought the animal was disgusting. After two days of blowing like a cat and screeming like a piglet, I noticed Antaro was a female, and Antje - Antoinette- turned out to be the loveliest of dwarfhamsters. See for yourself
MMMMm lovely sunshine here: first signs of Spring for you too...
well put! again! and after much contemplation last night I had come to that exact same conclusion. I have been parenting alone and this is an issue I had been avoiding with him. It is difficult and I had up till now felt incapable. I'm ready to face it now that I am feeling stronger. thank you! Peace and Love!
P S is that a Maine Coon you are holding? I have had two. They are the best! I love my cats!
Scotland? I liked the movie, The Eagle, although the moral content was a little sophmoric. Land of the Picts was the remarkable part of the movie, that's the second half. My husband's family is from that place. He still remembers. I went to Scotland once. Got pregnant. The baby is 25 come April. I find the weather blue and cold, like the Picts. Nice to hear from you. Susan
Thank you for your advice Chewbit. I have recently started meditation and it has been terrific. I was focusing on expanding my light of compassion and love as this is where I have been guided to. As far as my diet is concerned, after having cancer in 2000 and having "Dr.'s" I found a "healer" who introduced me to the fact that I was not merely my physical body but that I needed to attend to my spirit and emotions as well. Since then I do not take into my body anything that couldn't be essentially hunted or gathered. I don't drink soda and I run from anything that has been altered from it's natural state. This although can be difficult at times since the economy has been bad and there hasn't been much cash flow and we had to a couple of times had to go to the food pantries for food. When I started to feel this awakening, it was while I was walking around on our beautiful land and was bombarded with ideas and plans for utilizing the land for survival. Ideas about self sufficiency. Not just where and what to plant,but also tools to use, contraptions to build, irrigation systems, green houses and so on , all out of recycled materials. A lot of info about setting up a community of bardering for foods and services, who to reach out to and to do it now . I thought at that time I was having a nervous breakdown but now I can see what's to come.
I face a new challenge now though I have 3 children. My oldest has no fear and can embrace what is to happen. My two sons are terrified. One cries if I mention any thing. My biggest concern is my middle son who has Asburgers. He is just so angry! everything that comes from his mouth is hate this and that. He repeats that anything I say is fake and that we are all just gonna be dead. I am stuck here because I feel responsible for him as his mother, I should protect him. It is causing me to doubt what I am doing. I need guidance in this area.
I find the advice you give so useful and reassuring. I was especially relieved after reading your comments regarding the grey agenda...It left me shaking and afraid which I know is counter productive. I thank my guides who have immediately redirected me to more positive thinking. I have been a very insecure person for many years which is one of the things I am trying to let go of. There is also a lot of emotional healing I am trying to let go of as well. I was just going to type that I was not experiencing any type of release in this area until I finally am feeling wells of tears arising. I have spent my life choking down my emotions with self medicating (which remarkably I gave up as of 1/11/11) and have left my self in poor health.(adrenal Insufficiency, chronic IBS, chronic Lyme disease and have overcome a bout with cancer) I desperately want to let them go. Any thoughts for me? and insadently I never released those tears.